Oh! The Shame!

Shame On Me! I haven't blogged in over a week! Naughty Melinda...

Ok, hand slapping done, what's next? Well, I'll tell you what I'm up to:

Listening to Carmen while I drive.
Walking the dog -Jimmy Diggs- while cursing the rapidly chilling weather.
Having 3 scripts in my possession for three different shows.
Hangin out with My Friend Billy 'cause baseball and football rock.
Occasionally cleaning house, but only out of guilt.
Losing about a pound a week with Weight Watchers.
Practicing guitar more often than I used to.
Shuffling my schedule around to accomodate everything I have to do.
Loving Life.

So you can see, I've been pretty busy. However, tis no excuse. I was told I must blog at least three times a week, and so I owe you.

I want to say "If you read it I'll write it." However, I'd write it even if no one read it. I wake up thinking of the writing I have to do. I have a big board on the wall at the foot of my bed with notes, so even if it wasn't on my mind right away, it's staring me in the face.

Today I got the idea, and executed it, to post a picture of Diablo Cody there alongside my noteboard. In case you don't know, she's the gal from Minnesota who won an Oscar for her first screenplay. Something to shoot for. The Oscar, not Diablo.

It is the Leaves' Time.

Ah, geese honking overhead in their arrow formation as they fly in a southerly direction...leaves in many colors shivering on the trees and scattering on the ground...the crisp clean morning air...

I hate it all. Actually, it's quite nice, but it's a harbinger of the coming winter. It's winter that I really hate. Oh, the snow is pretty and all, but winter reminds me of why I am here in Minnesota, and where I could be.

It's only for a couple of years, he said. 13 years ago. I chose to remain here because my son needs me around. If not for him, I'd be hacking away at the jungle of L.A. However, all things happen for a reason...

I think I just wasn't ready. Even now, I have a lot to learn. My education continues, not just in the work I do, but about myself. Deep down, I have a fear of success and a need for perfection that chains me in the cold, dark, damp dungeon of my humanity.

All manner of avoidant and self destructive sabotage is employed. Luckily, I have loads of time in which to consider my actions and habits, to examine my methods and proceedures, and to correct my course.

Resolution is somewhat easy. Movement based on said resolve is quite another story. It takes a daily decision to be steadfast in my purpose. One cannot attend a monster inspirational conference of like minded creatives every week. That spark will have to come from within.

So each day when I wake I commune with the forces at large that compell me. We agree I won't traipse through daisies or slog through snow today. Simply walk along steadily, letting the leaves crunch under my feet.

Is This What You Do With Eternity?

One of my favorite movies is Groundhog Day, and one of my favorite lines from that movie is "Is this what you do with Eternity?" Andi and Bill are sitting on his bed flipping cards into a hat. She's wondering if that's all he does with all this time he's been given. Of course, he's also learned French, and to play the piano, and how to rob a bank without firing a shot. I don't know how to do any of those things.

I know how to act, and write, and sew. I'll be sewing alot here soon. I'm costuming the upcoming Northfield Arts Guild production of Ah, Wilderness! The exclaimation point is in the title, not an indication of my own personal excitement. Altho it is fun. America in 1906. Bustles were out, but big frills were the order of the day, and ridiculous ribbons, and men got to wear silly straw hats.

Why did hats ever go out? They're so fun and interesting. Women's hats of that time were particularly fun. Lots of feathers and flowers, sometimes even whole birds. Anyway, I get to put all this together. While I sew I love to watch movies. Heck, I love to watch movies all the time anyway. But at least when I'm sewing I get to feel productive. Unlike when I'm sitting here playing a game wondering if this is what I do with Eternity.

Pandora's Glimpse

I still remember that time in your living room, on the floor. You were on top of me, moving, and I looked in your eyes. I still marvel at the surprise and joy I saw there. You were home, and making love, to me of all people. That feeling was so wonderful it was frightening, like winning a tarantula. What do I do with THIS now?

Now so much time has passed I wonder if you think of it at all, or if all you see is the crying, or the yelling, or simply me...lost. Would you at least think of me fondly? Can you put aside your fear for one minute and just smile when I cross your mind? I know you wrap yourself in that suspicion like a blanket, it's security so comforting.

Yes, fear - like pain - can be a good thing, protective and familiar. There was a time I would have done anything to tear it from you, as if I could teach you something you already know. Screaming at you to look in the mirror and just let go will not work. You have to want it, and what I like about you most is that you know exactly what you want.

So I settle for the memory of your arms around me, your hair in my face. What eye contact we have made in the past is all we will have. But when you shrug and look down, I know we share those moments, that you have them inside you as well. It is my small victory. I couldn't break the wall down, but I got to peek over the top once.

Speed Limits are more of a Suggestion

Really, most people add 9 and go from there. I have at least one friend who might disagree. He is a state trooper, but his aim is more on truck drivers. He helped me realize I don't want to be a truck driver. I had toyed with the idea for a while, and even got info from a school, but he pointed out I couldn't even have a glass of wine the night before driving. So I've abandoned that career path and focused on the entertainment thing.

I'll still get to drive alot.

Did some research on my celebrity thriller charity project. When you google "celebrity thriller" you get a wierd video of the thriller dance with dead celebrities heads pasted on the dancers, people who died around the same time as Michael Jackson. I actually find it offensive. So I don't know if I want to call this undertaking "celebrity thriller". I googled "superstar thriller" and got a sales pitch for a dvd set. Nix that. Tried "ThrillStar" and like it. So be on the lookout for ThrillStar. No one's gonna save ya from the beast about to strike!

Gearing up to costume for Ah, Wilderness! at the Northfield Arts Guild. We have a photo shoot of the two principal actors Wednesday. Victorian Americana, sweet. I asked online for a key to the costume shop and then left my computer all day, so didn't hear back I could get the key until it was too late to pick it up. Therefore nothing will really happen till Monday. Which is quite alright. It's Defeat of Jesse James Days here in Northfield, and my son Nicholas turns 10 on Monday and we're celebrating this weekend.

Have characters mostly fleshed out for the Furry Vampire story I've decided to concentrate on. I have several story ideas but this one is the most fresh and fun. Think Twilight meets Eagle Vs Shark, sort of the Napoleon Dynamite of paranormal romance. I have finally hit on my forte. When people would ask what I write, and I'd say "romantic comedy" or "paranormal romance" they'd go "huh." But when I say Paranormal Romantic Comedy - the light goes on. It makes people smile, and I LOVE to make people smile.

Virtual Virginity Vamoosed

Inagural post, and too much to say! I have started a couple of blogs in a couple of different spots, but this one is home base, on the advice of a fellow blogger at DragonCon. People can find me more easily here.

Since you have found me, I guess I have some explaining to do. "Hearts Will Find A Way" - why that title? Well, I write Paranormal Romantic Comedy, and in my stories the Hearts of the characters Will Find A Way to live out their dreams, despite their time traveling ways, being ghosts, or having to go against the flow to say "Hey, I'm a vampire and I like to dress up in furry costumes, so what?" I also chose that title because my Heart has found a way to live out my own dreams, one of which is a huge charity fundraiser centered around the Thriller dance.

And why "Virtual Virginity Vamoosed"? The title for this, my first BlogSpot post, is not just an altruistic alliteration, it describes what has just happened to me: I started creating my online presence just this year. I am no longer new to this virtual world, that state of being out of the electric loop is gone, I am here and you can cuddle up and get used to me.

No cuddling without introductions! Hi, I'm Melinda. I write, act, sing, sew, and more. Visit my website for more details: www.MelindaEmanuel.info.

There I am, hope you enjoy my stories and performances. It's my purpose to make you smile.

Melinda Emanuel

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