Translating the Lost

Standing in line at the convenience store this morning I saw a magazine cover that teased "His #1 Sex Wish." ... I mused on that for a moment ... "Midgets? Trampoline? Everybody wearing a cape?" But the answer is quite simple, and came to me without my even having to crack the slick cover. His #1 Sex Wish is: To Have It.

For example, I was with a gentleman one morning and things were heating up. I asked him if he'd like it standing up or laying down and he said "Yes, please." That about sums it up, and is very helpful for ladies to remember. For men, the answer to most sex questions is a slogan: just do it. It is for many women as well. I mean me.

If only that drive translated into our collective work ethic. On a lovely day this past summer I asked a group of college boys if they would help me move a couch. They hesitated and I said I'd even pay. One of them disdainfully explained, and I'm using his words, that he was independently wealthy. They turned and walked away.

Even if we're not independently wealthy we're not working. Yes, jobs are hard to come by lately, but to offer that as an excuse is putting the chicken before the egg. I won't get into a long drawn out explanation of how the egg came first but trust me, it did. In this particular metaphor, the loss of work ethic led to the sparsity of work available today.

We sat back on our laurels and got lazy. Fat, Stupid, and Lazy, to be exact. We relied on our credit and lived beyond our means. Bubbles were created and burst. One thing led to another, and unemployment is over 10%. Nationwide.

The lazyness pervades every aspect of society, from sex wishes to improv comedy. (They are NOT one and the same, although closely related.) Since I decided to go to The Second City for training, I've been thinking about why they've got quite a few famous alumni for several decades and then recently not so much. I talked with an instructor on the phone about this briefly and he said the issue's being addressed.

It has to do with the "spaces within the work" and physical action versus just being a talking head. I think it also has something to do with how lazy Americans as a whole have become. All this was a lot more clear yesterday when I was very full of turkey and wine, but I think I've made my point.

Since this post has gone on and on and on, I'll be lazy at this juncture and quote the most famous dead person of the year. I'm looking at the man in the mirror. No, I'm not secretly a man. I believe in this case the word "man" can mean "mankind." I'm going to solve the lazyness problem for myself, and quit being so darn lazy. I think if even a few of us did so, it would help a whole lot.

How do I propose to stop my lazy daisy wheel spinning? Well, I closed up the fold out couch and am going to rearrange my living room. Again. I will refuse to lie down in the middle of the day. I will attempt to do most of my work standing up. That last one really counts for alot because I am in fact a stand up. Comedienne.

Made that decision within the last 24 hours as well. Look for an update to my website where until today my title has been Actress/Writer or something like that. Time to make new biz cards too that don't read Freelancer. No need to reinvent the wheel. Yes, I do a variety of things. However, the way to succeed is to do one thing and to do it well.

Don't freak out, if you were planning to take a class from me, I'm still going to teach. If you have ordered a costume from me, I'm still gonna sew. I'll still be stage managing for Phantom Tollbooth at the NAG next year. I'm still looking for Bill Murray's phone number. It's just that now I have a true bulls eye. Stand up comedy is my focus.